Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tiny Little Knives

My husband is starting to get sick of me. He's so tired of me complaining night after night about my friends. He has every right to be sick of me too. All I want to do is talk about them, well, really just vent about them.  Vent, vent, vent. All he wants to do is try to fix everything, you know, offer me solutions to how I could rectify these issues, issues that usually cause me to start all my sentences with “you’re not going to believe what she said.”  What he doesn’t understand is that I don’t want solutions, I want to talk about them. Who wouldn’t? Talking about your friends behind their backs is fun, and a stress reliever as well. I think it might even be good for you. My husband usually ends our conversations with a comment like. “I don’t understand why you are friends with this person” to which I reply, “ because  I really like her.” And right there, that’s the rub.
I know it’s not nice, but I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all done it at some point, I think most of us do it on a daily basis, at least I do. The tricky part is that if you vent to a friend about another friend, you’ll never really know if your snide little remarks made it back to the original ventee, thus simultaneously completing the back stabber circle of life and placing you in a precarious situation. If you vent to your husband or boyfriend, he is going to offer you unsolicited and unwanted advice. Who wants that? I just want to talk about my friends so I can temporarily get a false sense of superiority and righteousness and  then once I feel that I have sufficiently got it off of my chest, I will retreat. So, here’s the dilemma: Talking about your friends behind their backs to your husband, boyfriend, or partner is just not satisfying, and talking about them to other friends is just too risky. So, what is a really sweet, but two-faced person supposed to do? That’s where thecackle.com comes in. Post comments about whatever the hell annoys you about your best friend, or your cubicle mate, or all those stay at home moms with their pilates bodies who stand outside the elementary school wearing their capri pants, sporting their blonde, stacked bobbed haircuts while they wait to pick up Hunter and Braden and Braxton. Avoid the confrontation, but make it public (well, as public as thecackle.com is at this point) and get a sense of satisfaction from stabbing your friends in the back with tiny little knives. Make their ears ring so badly they'll think they have tinnitus. And remember, it’s good for you.

Talk to you soon (or maybe about you soon!),


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